Funny Christmas Poems

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If you are anything like me, you like a good laugh every now and again. Here is a collection of Funny Christmas Poems for you to enjoy with your family and friends. Use these poems to entertain friends and family at your Holiday get-togethers.


This Funny Christmas Poem was written by one of my all time favorite authors.

No one's hangin' stockin's up, No one's bakin' pie, No one's lookin' up to see A new star in the sky. No one's talkin' brotherhood, No one's givin' gifts, And no one loves a Christmas tree On March the twenty-fifth.

---Shel Silverstein

Christmas Shopping

It was Christmas Eve closing time, nearly Where a last minute shopper, frustrated clearly Was rummaging through the freezer cabinet At her nearest out of town super market Desperately searching for a frozen turkey And couldn't find one big enough for her family Then she saw a young shop assistant pass by And decided that she would give him a try "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" she said Puzzled he replied "No madam, they're dead."

Paul Curtis

Christmas Dog

Tonight's my first night as a watchdog, And here it is Christmas Eve. The children are sleeping all cozy upstairs, While I'm guardin' the stockin's and tree.

What's that now, footsteps on the rooftop? Could it be a cat or a mouse? Who's this down the chimney? A thief with a beard And a big sack for robbin' the house?

I'm barkin', I'm growlin', I'm bitin' his butt. He howls and jumps back in his sleigh. I scare his strange horses, they leap in the air. I've frightened the whole bunch away.

Now the house is all peaceful and quiet again. The stockin's are safe as can be. Won't the kiddies be glad when they wake up tomorrow And see how I've guarded the tree.

Shel Silverstein

Christmas Poems
Spiritual Christmas Poems
Traditional Christmas Poems